Tuesday 29 November 2016

Thursday 20 October 2016


Tuesday 18 October 2016

International Cat Day

National Cat Day - Facebook

International Cat Day - Wikiwand

Original image - Pixabay

Wednesday 5 October 2016

Spaced-Out Munchies No. I

Some claim Vegetarians produce more methane in a year than cows.

Read the statistics in the comments at the - LINK

Tuesday 12 July 2016

Would You Marry Me?

Originally Titled

Speaking Of Women III
Yet Another Proposal
From A Local Politician

          Illustrated by Terri Kelleher

Would You Marry Me?

Would you marry me?


Why not?

You would make a bigamist out of me

But it's me who is married and not you

Well if you can have two husbands then I would want two wives, in fact I would have three or four

Why would you want three or four?

I would want a little fat one to do the cooking

But she might not like it

Oh yes she would, she would love it, you know the type, nibbling at the ingredients all day. "Um Jam Roly-Poly" while taking a teaspoon to get the last of the jam from the jar

Who else would you have?

Would we live in a big house with a big garden back and front?


Then we would need a gardener, get her birthday presents pretending they are for her

Like what?

Like a Flymo

And what would you be doing?

I'd be sitting on the patio reading the newspaper, and she would be saying, ah look at the flowers aren't they beautiful, what do think of the roses?

And I would look up briefly and say, "Aye Canny"

And what would be my purpose?

To check when the bed linen needs to be changed


With a reluctant smile on her face

While all the lads around and about are busting a gut

First Posted

Sunday 22 May 2016

Is Homosexually A Sin?


Geordie Gardiner

In Conversation With Students From Sunderland

Is homosexually a sin?

It is written

What is?

That man should not lie with man

Is there a cure for homosexually?

Of course there is, do not be despondent

So what is the cure?

Well first of all you need to find yourself a good woman

Then what?

Late at night draw the curtains, turn the light out and pretend she is Yul Brynner

Why Yul Brynner?

Because Rameses needed a good fuckin



Geordie Gardiner


Belief is a strange thing, it can be a great benefit to those who believe but what is strange is that for it to be of benefit you have to believe it is true even if it happens not to be true.

If you do not believe it is true then it is of no benefit.

Christians believe that God is with them and subsequently it is of great benefit to them throughout their life.

At the end of their life the thought of going to a better place helps to make their passing far less traumatic.

Lets look at hypochondriacs

They go to the doctors with an ailment, thinking it is real.

They believe it is real so to them it is real.

The person has likely to have been assessed over many years and has been found to have had many such illnesses, so the doctor examines the person and not being able to find any problem he prescribes chalk.

The chalk is in tablet form and hypochondriacs believe the medication will cure them, which it does not but they believe it will so it does.

Saturday 12 March 2016

The Pen Is sightlier With Discord


Geordie Gardiner

The zip is better than a button
And the hen came before the egg
but there are some left
That are bereft
Of any true meaning

The pen is mightier than the sword
Is often said
with pretty polly scratching its head
Because it's fashionable
To be fashionable
And to pretend that you're well read

Or at least wise enough to repeat what others have said
But it's those with rage
Who consider a blank page
As the start
Of a bloody revoluion

Tuesday 9 February 2016

Do you ever have shit on your arse?


Geordie Gardiner

I was having a drink a few weeks back in a pub in Fatfield
It was an afternoon and fairly packed
Before long the conversation got round to Christianity
And once the ball started to roll they where all ears
One of the young women asked me to say a prayer for Dave Bowie
I even had them singing hymns
I goaded them:
"If I can tell you the history of my favourite hymns will you sing them?
But only if what I have to say is interesting
If you don't find it interesting then you need not bother
What do you say"
And so with the help of YouTube I was able to get the words up on a screen
30 minutes or so later it developed into a group discussion
About politics
They wanted to know my thoughts
It became very relaxed
And in a lull a young man said:

Can I ask you something?

Yeah, whatever you want

Do you ever have shit on your arse?

Well you might construe to believe my answer is in regard to people but you would be wrong, it's not

It's not?


Then what is it about?

It's about shit?


Yeah, that's what you asked me about, you asked me about shit and not about people, so my answer would be in regard to shit.

Errrr yeah, OK,

Well do you know a soft shit?

A soft shit?

Aye you've had one before, haven't you?


A soft shit, you've had one?

Well yeah

Well you see a soft shit leaves shit on your arse. But you know a tough shit........it doesn't leave a speck ...(Laughter Form The Pub)... so it would be a waste of time me asking you the same question

What question?

Do you ever have shit on your arse?


Because you have just admitted that you do, so it would be a waste of time asking

(More Laughter Form The Pub)

Monday 8 February 2016



Geordie Gardiner

It is a coincidence that the first British soldier killed in the First World War and the last British soldier killed in the First World War were killed in Mons.

Strange though it may seem, it is just a coincidence. Stranger things have happen, I am sure.

People are strange, when you're a stranger and nothing can be stranger than what people claim to see and with often reported celestial activity, people are bound to look to the clouds to see what they can see.

Both John Parr and George Edwin Ellison where buried in the same cemetery and as the years passed by the talk was of the sky and not of the spot where you stand to view, and wish you were a tree.

Then one day there was yet another "visitor."

Likely a sceptic, if you ask me.

And without a glance to the heavens he saw.

And was amazed, with awe and wonder that in over 90 years since the noise of man-made thunder

The lighting, was of such purity, that he could not help but see

The futility

The insanity

Of never knowing

How such can be

It being a coincidence

A complete coincidence

That there in rest

Is the headstone of one

Facing the other one

And it

Was all for me


Me, me,

The me

Me, me society

Who don't give a hoot

If you're dammed of blessed.

Originally posted in the "Fire of the Lord" blog at the picture link below, where you can find information on how the Pentecostal church in the UK grew from developments that started in Sunderland by the Rev. Alexander Boddy who was also involved in the story of the Angles of Mons, which were clained to have been seen at the fists battle in the First World War that included British troops.

Tuesday 5 January 2016

Anti-Christian Rhetoric
Geordie Gardiner

Anti-Christian Rhetoric

People who do not believe believe they know how to believe

The collective brain

Like a sponge in the rain
All that should flow down the drain

Then repeated
Again and again

Till it's stuck in their brain
And so they can get to repeat

The thoughts of the collective brain
That they are seeking

Weather good or bad
Whether happy or sad

Sane or mad
They are all glad

That there is a hymn book
That fits

The fashion of the week
That they can all sing from

"I am a pacifist"
Who would go out and kill?

Just for the thrill
Of a revolution

But you
You should not kill

And blood should not spill
If someone attacks you

"Jesus would not kill a fly"
But they bat an eye

In case anyone should spy
A herd of pigs

Who ran into the sea
For other than to wash there

So it goes on and on
And on and on


Spouted from wannabe strewths
From the hightest roofs

Because they know
What you should know

That they are atheists