Tuesday 12 July 2016

Would You Marry Me?

Originally Titled

Speaking Of Women III
Yet Another Proposal
From A Local Politician

          Illustrated by Terri Kelleher

Would You Marry Me?

Would you marry me?


Why not?

You would make a bigamist out of me

But it's me who is married and not you

Well if you can have two husbands then I would want two wives, in fact I would have three or four

Why would you want three or four?

I would want a little fat one to do the cooking

But she might not like it

Oh yes she would, she would love it, you know the type, nibbling at the ingredients all day. "Um Jam Roly-Poly" while taking a teaspoon to get the last of the jam from the jar

Who else would you have?

Would we live in a big house with a big garden back and front?


Then we would need a gardener, get her birthday presents pretending they are for her

Like what?

Like a Flymo

And what would you be doing?

I'd be sitting on the patio reading the newspaper, and she would be saying, ah look at the flowers aren't they beautiful, what do think of the roses?

And I would look up briefly and say, "Aye Canny"

And what would be my purpose?

To check when the bed linen needs to be changed


With a reluctant smile on her face

While all the lads around and about are busting a gut

First Posted